MLS week 6 & 7 thoughts…yeah I know I’m late

So as those of you who read my entertainment blog know, I have been busy prepping the Cannes film festival. (yeah, people ask me whether should be made or not. Weird right? Too bad they normally make the ones I’m not too keen on first. Oh well)

As such, I haven’t been able to pay much attention to this blog since, well, it pays nothing since doesn’t allow ads and the other sites do pay me (a little bit).

Anyway, here is a quick list of thoughts and let me start with a quick note on the start of week 8 with the RSL vs. Colorado game.

It was a pretty tight match. The level of play is the highest I’ve seen in the ‘Rocky Mountain Cup’ since it’s inception. This holds true league wide.

Colorado is looking like the team to beat out west and RSL is looking much improved. However, playing in the west it is looking more and more like they won’t make the playoffs again. It’s a shame because they do have some exciting young players. The Argies they added last year have been fantastic.

On to the past two weeks:

First, LA is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. To expect anymore or less the rest of the year, barring a major move, is folly. They have all the offense in the world. In fact, I am pretty confident that they could blast just about anyone off the field when they are even half on. However, the problem continues being defense as evidenced by their home loss to TFC a few weeks ago. They continue this streak of poor defending and it has been costing them, especially against RBNY who are a vastly overrated side.

LA needs to find a leader. They give up a ton of goals immediately after scoring and it is clear they need someone to holler at them and tell them to focus. 7 years ago a team could over celebrate and get away with it. However, the level of play and competitiveness for spots has increased to such a degree that it isn’t possible to take too many plays off without being punished. You only need as DC United…

…who got the living shit kicked out of them by Chicago on MLS Thursday a week after Chicago beat the shit out of New England for a second time this year. (where’s the excuses for your side this time, Nicol?) DC United has had a pretty strong history of having some talented players, but also having players who drift in and out of matches at times (look at their woeful recent playoff history) The fact of the matter is, the better teams in the league no longer allow you to take plays off anymore. Again, 4-5 years ago this may have been the case, but it simply can’t happen anymore.

The 2 best teams in the league by a country mile are Chicago and Columbus for this very reason. They keep their foot on the gas even if they are having a bad game and more often than not, they have been putting teams to sleep.

The real tragedy is the fact that if current form holds, the league’s failure to structure the playoffs in a straight 1 v 8, 2 v 7, 3 v 6, 4 v 5 format will mean Chicago and Columbus will have to knock one or the other out of the playoffs and play a lesser western team in the final. I know that’s getting way ahead of ourselves as things change almost weekly in MLS due to the relative parity (though it’s looking less pared this year)

However, my complaint stands. The straight table playoff should be the format but it won’t be now that the league tries to do everything possible to get LA into the post-season. Look at the change to the format this year. Last year’s race for spots was the best ever because they made it the top 2 from each conference getting in and then the next best 6 irregardless of conference. However, that was changed to the top 3 and then the next 2 this year which pretty much brings it back to what it used to be. It was a move clearly aimed at aiding the western conference and LA in particular and it’s shameful.

MLS: you won’t be fooling anyone. If LA makes the playoffs as the #3 in the west 20 pts behind 3 other eastern conference teams that would have made it if not for the rules changes, it’s not going to impress anyone. There are a billion other things you could do to give them a competitive advantage. Hell, if you raised the cap $500K they could get 2 high quality defenders and they’d be one of the best teams in the league. They’d probably dominate. Doing it this way just sucks.

I digress. Continue reading ‘MLS week 6 & 7 thoughts…yeah I know I’m late’


CONCACAF Champions Cup: Houston vs. Saprissa DAY 1

Log line: Robertson stadium is kind but not quite kind enough.

Result: 0-0

Read: Benardo Fallas’ minutes of the match HERE


Houston is going to be very disappointed to come out with a 0-0 draw. Away goals isn’t a problem as they aren’t counted in the CCC, but allowing Saprissa to make it a 1 game semi-final in their house isn’t very good.

There were some squandered chances and they frankly owned the game in the second half. I think Saprissa held possession for about 10 minutes at best. If Houston goes on to lose, they are going to be really disappointed that they didn’t have sharper finishing.

Corey Ashe looks like he’s rediscovered the form he had on the U-17 team and surely must be under consideration for the senior team. His pace is blistering and his ball handling is much improved. His crossing was pretty sharp as well. Basically he raised hell all night for Saprissa and very well could be the x-factor in San Jose a week from now.

It’s kinda scary but Houston probably has the best tandem of wide midfielders in the league with Ashe and Holden at their disposal.

7 days from now Houston will have it all to do down in San Jose in a wild and crazy stadium. Many people talk about the difficulty of the surface there since it’s artificial turf, but I don’t see that being as big of a factor for Houston as they often play on that wretched shit in league play.

Though it doesn’t make the job any easier. Costa Rica is a perennial power in CONCACAF and Saprissa is arguably their greatest club so there is no free lunch here.

It should be another exciting end to the tournament like we had last year.


Biggest CUNTS in MLS series: Toronto FC (TFC) and their fans

toronto-fc-logo.jpgHmmm…provocative title I know. However, here is some proof of their cunthood:

I like to expose myself to church goers!

I like to talk shit about greatness despite having a team that eats donkey cock!

Seriously, give it a rest TFC fans. You act is so tired and contrived it’s bordering on the pathetic at this point. I know there are a large number of Canadians who wish they were still a PART OF ENGLAND, but it’s simply not the case.

Basically, what we have are a bunch of tools who are good at synchronized streamer throwing (which was happening in the league oh…12 years before you existed) which is the equivalent of a high school girls color guard squad.

I hear a ton of bullshit about how tough and rough and tumble the ‘Red Patch Boyz’ and “U (Poo) Sector” and the rest of you shitbirds are and yet the only thing you’ve proven good at is talking shit to every other team about your greatness despite accruing about 7 points last year and getting drunk and showing your junk to church goers whilst taking a leak.

If pissing in public is the sign of Über supporter status then I’ve been at the pinnacle of supporterness ever since college. Suck on that TFC!

Seriously, douche bags, fight somebody. Even though I loath DC United I can at least respect their supporters for kicking the shit out of some MetroBulls supporters and vice versa (which is amazing considering there are about 10 MetroBulls supporters). Even the Revs supporters, possibly even bigger cunts than yourselves haven’t been averse to a scrape or two. Hell, Legion and Riot Squad routinely get into shit in the stands and the Texian Army and Section 8 are no strangers to controversy either. (probably why TFC wanted to limit the tickets they made available to away fans for the match Chicago is playing there…oh and the ‘but we have near sell outs every time!’ shit doesn’t fly, every team has ‘day of’ sales and TFC is no exception.)

Now, I’m not saying that I condone fighting in the stands and shit and have no desire to turn MLS into Serie A west, but if you are going to talk shit about how great and how ‘European’ and tough your support is it kinda stands to reason that you have to punch at least 5 people in the face at some point to be at least in the running for ‘tough mob’ status.

So that’s it TFC fans. I would basically like you to actually win something and perhaps back up your tough talking shit with some action before you continue this charade.

I mean, how bad is it going to suck when you lose out to Montreal for the Champion’s League even though you are basically being gifted a spot with the bullshit idea that Canada gets a spot and you get to compete for it despite competing in a non-Canadian league?

Oh and before you feverishly start typing your comments, keep in mind that until you actually win something…a title…a game…a challenge in the midfield…I will reserve the right to hold your comment in moderation. Or I might take some editorial liberties with your text, either way. Possibly even publishing your e-mail address if you make a douche bag enough comment.

This is a sounding board for others to share the experiences about the biggest go nowhere cunt douchebags in MLS: Toronto FC and their supporters.

Have an idea for the next ‘biggest cunts of mls’ series? Send it in and I’ll consider writing it, or perhaps even letting you take a crack and post it.

UPDATE: so of course the TFC Poo Sector linked it to their forums at: bullshit/99.8872/post.php or something similarly inane. Uh, it’s called sub-domains chief. i.e.: little easier to remember, yes?

Oh and classy move reposting my entire article. Copyright infringement anybody? If I was a bigger dickhead I’d file a complaint but since I’m sure you you are all still using Mosaic 0.4 as your browser I’m sure web navigation is a bit tough on you. Trust me, some day there will be this thing called broadband and java script and php that will make it’s way to you and make web browsing WAY easier and far ‘kewler’.

Funny that it pisses you off so much yet there are no suggestions for a bigger bunch of cunts in MLS. Kinda accepting the obvious I guess. Don’t worry; I have my next choices for Cunt of the week. Abel Xavier is getting a head start in the competition.

I told you the TFC faithful were into pissing on people and shit play behavior. I guess one of the ‘super fazzz’ socamonarch also has a boner/wet vagina for smacking my ass. Kinda gay if it’s a dude but to each their own I guess. Kenfrom255 is either a plant making fun of him/them or at least has a sense of humor (the thought of a Poo Sector scarf choking being quite arousing). A decent TFC fan with a sense of humor, whodathunkit?:

tfc-fans-are-fecophiliacs.jpg Continue reading ‘Biggest CUNTS in MLS series: Toronto FC (TFC) and their fans’



Log line: Good 1st half, great second half

Match result: DC 5 Harbour View 0

Aggregate result: DC 6 Harbour View 1

DC United moves on to the next round.

MOTM: Lots of people you could go with here, but for sheer work rate and his assists and a goal I have to go with Fred

Recap in brief

Not too much to say. The game was much smoother. It probably had as much to do with the better field conditions as it did with DC being closer to in-season form.

Harbour View is a very athletic and physical team though their lack of tactical awareness and technical skill is what undid them in the end.

Gallardo is looking like he was a great pick up. He made a number of great passes and a few others that are a little off season rust away from slotting through for wonder assists. He is also adept at pickup fouls in dangerous positions and nearly had a wonder goal off the volley after driving a free kick into the wall.

Emilio finally reawakend from his sleep and chipped in 2 goals.

Fred was the real story. He was a man possessed in the second half and was spraying passes around all over the place and even had a nice finish to cap the scoring.

Over all you could tell about 30 minutes into the first half that DC was on the verge of taking the match by the scruff of the neck and dragging it home.

Usually I find some things wrong but there isn’t too much to complain about if you are a DC fan. They had some careless turnovers early on but how much can you complain about a 5-0 pasting in an international competition?

Harbour View could make noise at some point with their athleticism and pace, but they need better coaching and better technical skills. They have shown that they are tough at home though.

Houston Dynamo plays next and are also going into the second leg tied on aggregate. It’s looking like it’s going to be another Mexico vs. MLS semi finals. We’ll see if MLS can break through to capture another Champion’s Cup (it’s been a while since they have)

Of course, seeing as the winner of the the new Champion’s League will go to the FIFA Club World Cup and not the Champion’s Cup winner, I expect MLS will win this as it seems every the Club World Cup was put on hiatus MLS won.

Well see what happens.


CONCACAF Champions Cup Matchday 2: DC United, Harbour View, Houston Dynamo & Municipal

I will pretty much only cover the games with MLS teams in them since there are probably 90 other sites one could get the Mexican team info from. (of course if/when the MLS teams play the Mexican sides I will be covering them after all 🙂 )

First up, Houston vs. Municipal.

This, to me, was by far the better match despite the 0-0 scoreline. The superiority came and went in waves with a slight edge to Municipal for most of the first 60 minutes or so.

There isn’t a whole lot to say other than the result was probably a fair one. Neither team looked particularly sharp around the goal. (especially Municipal who missed some absolute sitters)

The skill on display was good and the match was hard fought. You’d like to see some more quality in the finishing as I stated earlier but other than that I can’t imagine either team complaining too much.

Going into the second leg it’s hard to imagine Houston losing. They are in the middle of preseason but will be near the season by the time the the second leg comes around. Plus they are TOUGH to beat at home and have a pretty good record in knockout competition. If Municipal can score early it can change everything but that will be a tall order at Robertson.

DC United vs. Harbour View was a different story. The match ended 1-1 but it was tough to watch. The pitch is partly to blame but DC’s defense looked horrid and their finishing was non-existent. That was when they actually decided to create a chance on goal. A really poor performance for them.

Gallardo had many flashes and definitely showed why they are paying him the big bucks, but they need to get Emilio back on track (which may not happen as he played ‘off’ last year when the weather was cold and it probably won’t be warm for the second leg).

They REALLY need to figure it out defensively. Harbour View was slicing through with regularity in the second half and honestly were unlucky to only get a draw from this match.

Can DC win? Sure. IF the fans show up. They are a very different team when the fans show up. However, their fans don’t exactly have a history of coming out in droves for non-league matches.

Frankly, I could easily see DC get upset if they don’t play thorough Gallardo more and work Emilio into the game better. Otherwise, it will be early showers for them.

Both clubs can’t be too disappointed with away draws but most expected a bit more from them. However, as long as they play games in preseason the results will always be more erratic. Just ask the Mexican teams in Superliga last year.

The final score will suit them but both MLS teams really need to pick it up if they expect to achieve their desired result.


CONCACAF Champions League Announced

So this has FINALLY been formalized and was much needed.

The CONCACAF Champions Cup is going the way of the dinosaur and becoming a UEFA Champions League/Libertadores style event instead which promises to add more drama.

Here are some of the details from the CONCACAF website:

CONCACAF announced today the official launch of the new continental club championship, the CONCACAF Champions League which will commence in August 2008. The CONCACAF Champions League will replace the Champions’ Cup which will cease to exist after the 2008 edition.

The CONCACAF Champions League will see a Confederation record number of 24 teams from all sectors of the CONCACAF region participating. The preliminary round begins in August 2008 with the first CONCACAF Champions League winner to be crowned in late April 2009.

The CONCACAF Champions League will feature four teams from Mexico and USA; three Caribbean sides; two clubs each from Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Panama; and one representative coming from Canada, Belize, and Nicaragua.

Eight clubs (two Mexican, two USA, one each from Costa Rica, Honduras, Guatemala, El Salvador) will be seeded and progress directly to the first round of the CONCACAF Champions League, while the Caribbean slots have been increased to three teams for this event.

The remaining 16 teams will be paired in eight home-and-away preliminary match-ups taking place from 26-28 August and 2-4 September.

Though I have one question: What’s up with the 1 team from Canada thing? Last time I checked Canada participated in both the USL and MLS and there is currently only one division 1 (MLS) side active in Canada.

Surely that can’t mean that Toronto FC gets an automatic berth every year until they add another Canadian side does it? Even then: Why?

If they must have teams from all nations, then it’s time to fold TFC now or for Canada to create their own league. I don’t see that happening, but it’s a sham if a team as shitty as TFC was on the pitch last year gets and automatic berth into the regional club championship and by extension a possible invite to the wildly lucrative FIFA Club World Cup.

Someone at CONCACAF has some explainin’ to do (which isn’t the first time) but other than that peccadillo; I really love the change.

Things keep on growing in the US and CONCACAF in terms of soccer/football. Exciting times my friends. Exciting times.

Check out the schedule of events after the break Continue reading ‘CONCACAF Champions League Announced’

MLS ASG in DENVER- by eBatty